This is a list of transcripts for random newscasts in
, from Tomodachi Life Mii News.
NOTE: There are some changes to the articles here that reflect the regional changes. Most notably, the North American (NA) region. Words in brackets represents the changes made in that news article, which can be different compared to the others like Europe or Japan.
[Mii]'s Birthday / [Mii] Turns [Age]
[Mii] turned [Age] today. / It's [Mii]'s Birthday today.
Here's footage of the birthday celebration live to you from the [Island] Hotel.
"La la la la la la"
"La la la la la la"
"La la la la, dear [Mii]"
"La la la la la la"
Note: When the player blows on the microphone, the candles on the birthday cake will go out and the Miis will give the cake a surprised look then they will return to normal after a few seconds. The 'Woo hoo!' line will be skipped when this happens.
[Year] [Season] Collection/ [Season] [Year] Collection (EU)
The [Year] [Season] Collection debuted on the [Food] Fashion Center runway this week.
A new popular designer on the scene, named [Mii], showed [his/her] latest [Season] themes.
Let's take a look at the video.
Note: When the player re-watches the newscast, different Miis will be shown in the audience and wearing the costumes. Sometimes the aforementioned designer, news anchor, and the two interviewees may show up.
[Food]-ercising is a popular new get-fit craze talking over the gyms right now.
Enthusiasts move around while waving [Food].
[Food]-ercising's inventor, [Mii], had this to say:
"Moving your body while holding some [Food] is great for improving you balance."
"And if you get hungry, you can just go ahead and pop it in your mouth."
Everyone Does Tai Chi
Tai Chi is experiencing a very slow boom on [Island] Island.
Master [Mii] holds classes in the park and calls out the moves to the students as they practice.
Everyone enjoys performing this ancient Chinese meditative art slowly in time with each other.
Let's take a look at what a class is like.
Stray [Mii] Problem
There have been recent increase in stray [Mii] sightings around homes in the area.
The [Mii] is cute when it's young, and it's a popular pet.
However, as it grows, it becomes more defiant and eventually leaves home in search of the best foods.
If you give a stray [Mii] a snack, it will just pester you for more. So if you see one, try to ignore it.
Here's a refreshingly adorable news story about [Mii] and [his/her] new pet bird.
Earlier this month, [Mii] opened the window to let in some air.
But to [Mii]'s surprise, a little bird flew into [his/her] house.
[Mii] got into a flap trying to make it go out the way it came in, but it was always one hop ahead.
Even though the bird would seem like a fine pet, [Mii] is still trying to get it to leave the room.
But you know what they say about birds of a feather flocking together...
Transport Bed on Sale Now/ Moving Bed on Sale Now (EU)
Do you always wish you could sleep in a little bit longer?
Well, a new bed is just what dreams are made of! The slumberful moving bed has finally hit the stores!
Set the time and destination before you go to sleep--the bed does all the work. It'll take you anywhere!
Now you can stay up late and go to sleep knowing that you'll get to school or work on time.
[Mii] Sweets Now on Sale
A new product has arrived in stores.
[Mii 1] Sweets went on sale everywhere today.
[Mii 1] Sweets bear a picture of [Mii 1]'s Face.
One sweets enthusiast named [Mii 2] had this to say:
"No matter how many times I lick it, all I see is [Mii 1]'s face. It gets old after a while."
[Mii] had the sock shock of a lifetime the other day
Although [he/she] is trying desperately to maintain composure, a friend let us in on the following shocking stocking secret:
"No doubt about it. I can tell from the look on [his/her] face that [he/she] finally discovered that big hole in [his/her] sock. What a tragedy!"
[Mii]'s Party Trick
At a party last week on [Island] Island, [Mii 1] revealed an insanely amazing trick
[Mii 1] demonstrated the ability to spin [a/an/some] [Food] on one finger.
According to [Mii 1], the name of the trick is the Spinning [Food].
[Mii 2], who witnessed the technique, had this to say with dizzy saucer eyes:
"I can't believe that [Food] was spinning! I was mesmerized."
A UFO was spotted on [Island] plains today.
"Is it a bird?"
"Is it a plane?"
"No, it's [Mii]!"
These could have been the words that onlookers might have said.
Most people could probably tell that the object was just a flying [Mii].
A UFO was sighted over [Island] Plains.
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's [a/an/some] [Food]!"
These could have been the words the onlookers may have said.
It turns out that the flying object was [a/an/some] [Food], just as one onlooker may have suspected.
New Toaster Hits the Market/ New Ultra Toaster out Now! (EU)
An eye-popping new kitchen gadget is now available in stores nationwide.
Your old toaster may soon be as obsolete as unsliced bread!
The Almoaster, out yesterday, can toast almost anything. It can even toast [Food]!
Just insert [Food], wait three minutes...
And, POP! Perfectly toasted [Food] come[s] flying out.
Home for a Swim/ Room for a Swim (EU)
Recently, [Mii] has taken up swimming in [his/her] home.
[Mii] recently bought some fish and aquarium gear and then taped up [his/her] doors and windows.
Next, [he/she] turned on all the faucets and filled [his/her] home nearly to the ceiling with water.
[Mii] said, "I love to swim in my home all day. It's really quite pleasant until it's time to eat or sleep."
([Mii] has been seen swimming in [his/her] home, recently.
Last month, [Mii] opened the door to [his/her] room and found that it looked like a seabed.
[Mii] was surprised at first, but soon got used to it.
In fact, [he/she] now has swimming lessons with [his/her] fish almost everyday. Soon, [he/she] might even grow a tail!)
Wish upon a Hydrangea
Are the hydrangeas at [Island] Botanical Garden beautiful right now or what?
Some people believe that if you talk to the hydrangeas there, they will grant you a wish.
Flocks of visitors can be seen talking to the slightly unresponsive flowers.
By the way, [Mii]'s wish was, "I wish I had some flowers."
World's Smallest Mii
The world's smallest Mii was discovered in the early hours of the [Date] of this month.
[Mii 1] was up all night playing with a magnifying glass instead of going to bed.
[He/She] just happened to discover teeny-weeny [Mii 2] on [his/her] bedside table.
At an eighth of an inch tall, [Mii 2] just barely beats out the former world's smallest Mii.
Self-proclaimed scientific genius Dr. [Mii's Last Name] has invented a pill that makes you half-invisible.
The scientist spent years developing the pill before finally being able to test it on [himself/herself].
As expected, [he/she] became half-invisible.
The doctor soon realized there wasn't much point to it unless it makes the user completely invisible.
And so the invention's announcement ended up being only halfhearted and somewhat transparent.
A new type of bath is making waves.
The bath was invented by [Mii] and contains...
I can hardly believe it... [Food]!
According to [Mii]'s research,
[Food] has a nutrient that makes your skin smoother than any lotion available.
Of course, this has not been verified, so please don't try this at home.
Who Logs the Most Toilet Time?
Apparently everybody wants to know.
According to [Mii 1's Last Name] Research's latest survey,
the number one person with the longest toilet time on [Island] Island is...
Number two on the list is [Mii 3].
[Mii 4] was the favorite but ended up taking third place.
[Mii 2] voiced displeasure with the results, saying,
"No way! [Mii 5] takes way longer than me!"
Bookworm [Mii]/ [Mii] the Bookworm (EU)
These days, people are moving away from reading books. But we found one islander who just loves reading.
[Mii] is a real bookworm and was reading books before [he/she] could walk.
[He/She] spends [his/her] every waking moment buried in a book—while on the toilet or even in the shower!
[He/She] has lost count on how many books [he/she] has read so far, but [he/she] believes it is over three million.
With practically no more books left to read, [he/she] plans to read the phone book next!
The New Mii Phone
A new kind of telephone is set to take the market by storm.
It's called the Mii Phone, and it could change the way you look at your telephone.
Press on the Mii Phone's body to operate the phone. But be careful, because they can be ticklish.
They may not be easy to use, but these novel products are sure to attract a lot of attention.
Just Like [Treasure 1]?
The scientific world welcomed some bright news today.
It was once thought impossible to make [Treasure 2] that looked just like [Treasure 1].
But Professor [Mii 1's Last Name]'s team made a breakthrough and did exactly that late last night.
The professor is now sure to win the chemistry world's most coveted [Mii 2's Last Name] award.
Lazybones Marathon/ Lazybones Contest (EU)
The annual Lazybones Marathon was held on [Island] today.
In this competition, participants try to outlazy each other. They while away the time talking about annoying chores.
The last participant to get up is crowned the Lazybones Champion.
[Mii], the new champ, said, "Man, all the lying around and talking really made me tired."
[Food] Beach Open!
[Food] Beach, normally a protected natural area, is open to the public for a limited time only.
This week, visitors could be seen enjoying the fresh scent of [Food] as they splashed and played.
A heart-stopping incident occurred yesterday at lunchtime.
[Mii 1] was playing hide-and-seek and decided to hide in some iced coffee.
But then [he/she] found [he/she] couldn't get out of the mug.
[Mii 1] nearly froze because of the icy drink.
Luckily, [he/she] was rescued when [Mii 2[, who was it, finally found [him/her] and pulled [him/her] out.
Swimming with Dolphins
[Island] Diving School is hosting a special event for those who want to swim with the dolphins.
The annual event is so popular, it's been sold out for months in advance.
One visitor, named [Mii], was lucky enough to take the plunge. He said, "I felt like I was really one of them."
Space-Weather Forecast/ Astro-Weather Forecast (EU)
In a change from our usual news, we have a space-weather special for you.
Let's go to our cosmic-weather expert. Over to you, [Mii]!
Hi! So let's see what the space weather is up to out there.
Tomorrow the moon will be clear, but we'll have windstorms on Saturn.
Jupiter will be cloudy, and Mars will start out with rain, clearing up by midday.
The sun is expected to reach a high of 6,000 degrees. So if you're on the sun tomorrow...wear sunblock.
[Island] Film Set
[Mii], the world-famous director, is filming a new documentary here on [Island].
Talking in an interview about the film, [Mii] had this to say:
"I've always been interested in [Island] Island because of its natural beauty.
With this film, I want to capture the lifestyles of islanders in their natural environment."
Filming is already well under way, but the director had one complaint:
"When people see the camera, they keep looking into it and waving. It makes it hard to get good footage."
Let's all try to behave more naturally and make life a little easier for the director.
Tree climbing is fast becoming an underground sport on [Island].
Climbing trees has become popular as a way to stay healthy and be with nature.
[Mii], who climbs trees every day, had this to say:
"It just feels good to get out there and grapple those trees."
World [Treasure] Show/ [Treasure] World Show (EU)
The World [Treasure] Show opened today.
This is a highly unusual exhibition where [Treasure] from all over the world are put on display.
Visitors can learn how [Treasure] from different countries stack up to our own.
Sheep Flock to [Mii]
An incident occurred between [Mii] and some sheep today.
[Mii] was napping in a meadow when [he/she] was surrounded by a flock of sheep.
[He/She] was surprised to go from counting sheep to being completely penned in by them.
Apparently the woolly herd was attracted to the sound of [Mii]'s snoring.
[Island] Island Fest Kicks Off!
The [Island] Island Festival got under way today.
The event was set up to build a sense of community on the island.
Headlining were the popular bands the [Food] and Legend of [Mii].
Other bands are also slated to perform at the three-day event.
More than 50,000 people visited on opening day alone.
You may have heard stories about [Mii] and wondered if they're true.
[He/She] has always been rumored to be the most nervous person around, but now we have concrete evidence.
Our Mii News team didn't believe the reports at first.
But we managed to catch [his/her] reaction on film and confirmed that the rumors were understating the truth.
Mustard Mixer Strikes
[Island] Island Police arrested [Mii 1] today.
[He/She] is suspected of randomly adding hot mustard to innocent foods.
According to the police report, [Mii 1] was caught yellow-handed.
[He/She] added mustard to [Food] that [Mii 2] was making.
When questioned, [Mii 1] could only mutter, "I don't know why I did it."
Giant-Size-Food Challenge/ Super Size Food Eating Challenge (EU)
Daredevil [Mii] took part in the latest Island Challenge event.
The challenge? To eat some extra-extra-extra-large [Food] in just 60 minutes!
[Mii] bravely shrugged off the concerns of the audience and took up the challenge.
[Mii] started off well...
but [he/she] gave up when [he/she] only had one bite left to eat.
So unfortunately the challenge ended in failure.
Competitive eating is highly dangerous, so please don't try this at home.
A new type of treadmill that lets you exercise at home is running circles around the competition.
The all-new [Mii] Treadmill is perfect for all kinds of runners.
Just leave the distance and speed settings up to [Mii], and you'll get a fantastic workout
Bus Stop... Doesn't
Reports are coming in from all over the island about a runaway bus stop.
This bus stop makes it almost impossible to catch a bus.
You could probably just run to your destination before you could catch up to this stubborn stop.
Some islanders have suggested that chasing the bus stop might be a great way to get into shape.
Mii Claw Game/ Mii Crane Game (EU)
There's a funky new claw game that has players snagging Miis instead of stuffed animals.
According to [Mii], who works at [Island] Game Center, it may not be for everyone.
"Some players are weirded out by the idea of treating Miis like objects." [he/she] said.
"But most people change their minds after seeing how much fun it is to catch one."
[Mii] Strikes a Pose
Today we have some fascinating video sent in from one of our regular viewers.
[Mii], the master of movement, sent this video with a note that read,
"I'm sure these poses will astonish your viewers." Let's take a look.
[Mii]'s Temper/ [Last Name] Riot (EU)
[Mii 1] threw a temper tantrum in the middle of the street and literally stopped traffic.
One eyewitness named [Mii 2] had this to say:
"[Mii 1] started screaming like a little baby. It distracted me from doing my crossword puzzle."
It's not clear why [Mii 1] lost [his/her] marbles, but our reporters are following some candy-related leads.
Here's our scoop on a super catch.
During a particularly engaging talk, somebody accidentally dropped [a/an/some] [Food].
At that very moment, [Mii] just happened to be speeding past and made a miraculous saving catch.
Great catch, [Mii]!
Toilet Takeover / Toilet-Squatter Incident (EU)
A brazen public-restroom takeover caused havoc in town recently.
The incident happened around noon, when [Mii]'s friends teased [him/her] about letting out a big burp.
[He/She] was so embarrassed that [he/she] ran to the nearest public restroom and barricaded [himself/herself] in.
Within a short time, the teasers became the victims of their own jokes, as they started needing to use the restroom.
It took a leg-crossingly long time, but [Mii]'s best friend finally persuaded [him/her] to let everyone in.
[Mii 1] Cloud Sighted
There's been a lot of sad news lately, but this news should make you feel all warm and fuzzy.
[Mii 2] was devastated when [he/she] accidentally put salt instead of sugar into [his/her] coffee.
But as [he/she] was staring out the window in despair, [he/she] saw a cloud that looked just like [Mii 1].
"I felt [Mii 1] was telling me it was going to be OK," [he/she] said. "That made me feel a lot better."
The cloudy [Mii 1] refused to comment.
[Mii] Danceathon/ [Mii] Dance-a-thon (EU)
[Mii] can't stop dancing at home.
[Mii] thought that a little dancing might stop [him/her] from being so bored.
At first [he/she] was a little shy and danced quietly.
But as the night went on, [he/she] became more confident and broke into a dance frenzy.
Neighbors have complained about a lot of loud noises and some off-key singing.
Legendary Centaurs Spotted
This news may be difficult for our viewers to believe.
We have reports that mythical centaurs have been spotted in the north of [Island] Island.
Take a look at this photo.
It appears to show a herd of centaurs trotting up a mountain.
However, there are some doubts about eyewitness [Mii]'s story and photo evidence.
Police suspect the photo has been foaled with. We hope [Mii] wasn't just horsing around.
Giraffe Sticks Neck Out!
A friendly giraffe named [Mii] visited [Island].
Big and eager to please, [Mii] has already become quite popular.
[Island] Zoo has seen an increase in visitors wanting to slide on [Mii]'s neck.
[Mii]: Kindergartner/ [Mii] Not 2 Cool 4 Skool (EU)
[Mii], age 0, finished [his/her] first day at [Island] Kindergarten today!
[Mii] had dreamed about getting a fresh start in life for a long time.
Finally, [his/her] recent application to reenter kindergarten was officially approved, and [his/her] wish came true!
"I hope I make loads of new friends!" [he/she] said, looking particularly excited.
Mystical Deer Discovered/Legendary Deer Discovered (EU)
Researchers finally have photographic evidence of the legendary deer of [Island].
Images of the mystical, elusive deer were captured at long last by the intrepid [Mii 1's Last Name] Expedition.
The [Mii 2] Deer, as it is called, is now known to feed on [Food].
[Mii 1], who discovered the deer had this to say:
"We have proof for all those doubters that the [Mii 2] Deer does indeed exist. It's a great day!"
Biography Goes on Sale
[Mii] released [his/her] autobiography this week.
The book's imaginative title is... How [Mii] Became Real.
[Mii] appeared in person at a signing session and said, "Now you'll know the real me."
According to sources, [he/she] wrote it mostly by herself.
[Treasure] Island Fest
The [Treasure] festival was held all over [Island] Island recently.
The festival, a celebration of all things [Treasure], featured many kinds of games an activities.
Among popular recurring favorites were [Treasure] bobbing and [Treasure] cakes.
The festival continued until late into the evening.
It reached its grand finale, the singing of "[Treasure] Song", in the wee hours of the morning.
New Shampoo Debut
There are many scented shampoos on sale, but one has created a stir because of its unique ingredient.
Get ready for the smell of [Food]!
Just one wash with this shampoo, and your whole world will smell like [Food].
[Mii], who developed the product, had this to say:
"Most shampoos smell the same. I wanted to give the shampoo industry a kick in the conditioner.
Char-grilled [Food] is sparking interest among gourmets. And there's no smoke without fire.
Char-grilled [Food] is made by cooking [a/an/some] [Food] over a fire.
It's not an exact science, but done right, it results in a real treat.
[Mii], a char-grilling enthusiast, had this to say:
"There's a fine line between crunchy and coal. I wouldn't recommend it to amateurs."
[Mii's Last Name] Bakery
[Mii's Last Name] Bakery recently opened its doors on [Island].
Baker [Mii's Last Name] kneads over one hundred different kinds of bread every day.
[Treasure 1] Baguettes, [Treasure 2] Loaves and many more goodies grace the shelves.
[Mii's Last Name] Buns take the cake, though. Their sales are really on a roll!
[Mii]'s Dating Course
There is an extremely popular new course at the school for grown-ups on [Island] Island.
In this class, dating expert [Mii 1] reveals tips on how to attract the person of your dreams.
One student, named [Mii 2], had this to say, in a very confident tone:
"I took the class for a laugh, but it changed my life. I feel like I could date anybody."
We wish [Mii 2] the best of luck on [his/her] next dates.
Arm Wrestler Slams to the Top
[Island] Island's annual arm-wrestling tournament was held yesterday.
Contestants from all over the island gathered to show off their muscles.
The winner of this year's table-slamming competition was [Mii 1].
From the first round right to the final bout, he flattened all comers' wrists with ease.
Surprisingly, last year's champion, [Mii 2], didn't win a single bout!
The "I" in "Ice Cream"/ We all Dream of Ice Cream (EU)
There's a new style at the ice-cream parlor that has everyone screaming for more.
[Island] Creamery opened its ice-creamy doors last week.
Its specialty is serving up ice-cream scoops that look exactly like its customers' faces.
[Mii], who ordered a small [Mii] scoop, said, "Wow! It looks and tastes just like me!"
Lost [Food]/ [Food] Tipping (EU)
Missing [Food]. It's become a problem here recently.
Already this week there are 17 active cases involving missing [Food].
Authorities are asking people to please take better care of their things.
As [Mii] was eating [Food] on the riverbank today,
a hawk came flying down and stole [his/her] food.
[Mii] didn't seem too concerned, saying,
"This is the third time a hawk has stolen [Food] from me. I'm used to it now."
[Island] Island's Mud-Volleyball tournament was held in a very muddy field today.
The volleyball court was set up in the morning, and both pro and amateur players mucked it out all day.
The players got completely covered in mud because of all of their diving and splashing around.
[Mii], who played in the game, said, "Everybody was so muddy, I couldn't tell who anybody was."
[Mii] Erasers are becoming very popular among schoolkids these days.
These unusual erasers are made from a mold of [Mii]. That's where they get their odd name...
The erasers come in a variety of [Mii] poses, and there are 250 to collect in all.
Even though it's called an eraser, our news team found it wasn't very good at erasing anything really.
But eraser enthusiasts are trading the rarer and highly sought-after versions of the product.
The rarest, the Thinking [Mii] version, sells for more than 50 times its retail value.
New Therapy Boom/ New Item Therapy Boom (EU)
A new [Mii 1's Last Name] [Food] Massage has been taking spas by storm.
The [Mii 1's Last Name] massage hits pressure points that other methods just can't reach.
The reason? Practitioners use [Food]! A customer named [Mii 2] said,
"This is like no massage I've ever had before. You have no idea how relaxed I feel right now."
Cheering Up [Mii]/ Chin Up [Mii] Event (EU)
An event to up [Mii] was held on [Island].
A group of islanders organized this event to make [Mii] feel better after [he/she] stepped in dog poo.
One by one, friends offered words of encouragement to [Mii].
After hearing their words of support, [Mii] regained [his/her] confidence and said,
"Now I know the real meaning of friendship."
The 4x4 Craze
Recently, driving your own 4x4 has become trendy again.
[Mii], who purchased a 4x4 three days ago, had this to say:
"I'm gonna ride over every inch of this island!"
Stretchy-Face Challenge / How Stretchy is your Face Challenge (EU)
[Mii] took part in a wacky new Island Challenge event.
The How-Far-Can-You-Stretch-Your-Face Competition ended with fewer injuries than expected.
[Mii] took up the challenge despite the concerns of onlookers.
[He/She] had a strong start and came close to breaking a world record.
Unfortunately, [he/she] was one inch short, and the challenge ended in failure.
Face stretching is highly dangerous, so please don't try this at home.
[Hat]s are seeing a surge in popularity this season.
According to one shop, they are selling three times faster than normal this year.
[Mii], a lover of [Hat]s, said,
"They're popular because they look great on kids and grown-ups. See?"
[He/She] might have a point. I should get to the shops too...
You Say Tomato, I Say [Mii]
This news might just put a smile on your face.
[Mii] has been growing tomatoes that look just like [him/her] in [his/her] vegetable garden.
"Grow them with enough love," [he/she] said, "and they start to look just like you. Like [mother/father], like tomatoes!"
[Mii] went on to say that the tomatoes are tasty but [he/she] feels bad about eating them.
[Island] Wrestling Recap/ [Island] Scuffle (EU)
The [Island] Championship Wrestling match was held today.
A special ring was set up in the plaza to house the event for some of the biggest names in wrestling.
[Male Mii 1] the Giant made an appearance, along with Fire Dragon [Male Mii 2].
The mysterious Masked [Female Mii] and the even more mysterious Caped [Food] fought as well.
In the final bout, the [Food] attempted to take the championship by using the [Food] Slam.
The wrestler tried to take out [Male Mii 1] the Giant with that signature move.
But the Giant countered with the [Male Mii 1] Punch.
He then finished off with a Flying Mii Dropkick to claim a record fourth title.
[Treasure] Wreck Haul
Treasure divers recovered [Treasure] today from a wreck off [Island] Island.
The ship, the [Mii 1] Fisher, sank many years ago.
The [Treasure] was probably made in the 17th century.
[Treasure] expert [Mii 2], who analyzed the find, had this to say:
"It's slept on the ocean floor protected from sunlight, so it's really well preserved."
"However, some fish may have had a little nibble, decreasing the value by a few dollars."
New Nail-Art Fashion Tips
A radical new design has exploded onto the nail-painting scene.
You've probably already seen nails featuring [Treasure] on fingers everywhere lately.
The style took off after celebrity model [Mii] wore them as a joke.
But now both men and women are into the [Treasure] nails, and it looks like this trend will last.
Swamp Monster Sighted
There have long been legends of a swamp monster living in [Food] Lake.
Now these rumors have been proven to be true.
[Mii 1] was visiting [Food] Lake with [his/her] family.
All of a sudden, [he/she] felt something staring at [him/her] and watched as the monster emerged from the water.
Apparently, it seemed most interested in the lunch [Mii 1] and [his/her] family were eating.
But it disappeared back into the swamp before they even started on dessert.
According to the report, the monster looked just like [Mii 2].
It was discovered today that [Mii] has a cavity.
This image shows the bacteria that has made itself at home on [Mii]'s tooth.
According to the dental report, [Mii] has been forgetting to brush [his/her] teeth before going to bed.
In related news, [he/she]'s been eating lots of [Food 1] and [Food 2].
Mii Stand-Up Comedy Fest
The Mii Stand-Up Comedy Festival was held today to find the best comedy duo on the island.
The event, which is sponsored by [Island] TV, has been going for nine years.
Amateur and professional teams battled through several rounds to get to the finals.
One team's routines were so hilarious in the early rounds that some of the audience members actually fainted.
The duo, [Mii 1] and [Mii 2], call themselves...The Duo.
"We've got even funnier jokes for the final," they said in perfect unison. "You better take out extra health insurance."
Crow Mugging Averted
A startling event was narrowly avoided today when a crow nearly attacked [Mii].
The incident almost happened in [Island] Park.
The crow came out of the blue, landed near [Mii], and looked [him/her] over.
It flew away when it decided it was no longer really all that interested.
The [Island] Island Crow Association chairperson had this to say:
"Crows like collecting shiny objects, like jewelry or glass.
So it might have wanted the trendy sunglasses that [Mii] was wearing."
Spending Fantasy Cash
It's something many people dream about—winning and spending a ton of cash. A new survey has some answers.
According to [Mii]'s Money, Money, Money report, there is a clear number one purchase:
a tropical vacation.
However, in close second was an unusual choice: a new [Treasure]!
"[Mii 1] Asks" Premieres
Popular celebrity [Mii 1] aired [his/her] new TV talk show this week.
[His/Her] first guest was [Mii 2].
[He/She] quickly got to the heart of all [Mii 2]'s problems in [his/her] usual flamboyant style.
After the show, [Mii 2] commented that [he/she] felt like a whole new person, adding,
"I feel so relieved! All my lifelong problems were solved in 30 minutes."
Monster Movie Press Conference
A press conference is was held recently at [Food] Cinemas' main theater.
It was a promotion for the upcoming [Mii 1]-Bot vs. Mecha-[Mii 2] movie.
The film is a sequel to the popular [Mii 1]-Bot, which came out last year
In this action sequel, defender-of-justice [Mii 1]-Bot battles the evil monster Mecha-[Mii 2].
Director and star [Mii 1] had this to say about this $200 million picture: "It's a masterpiece."
Best By... Five Years Ago!/ Best Before Fiend (EU)
Another unbelievable discovery was made today.
[Food] was discovered with a best-by date from five years ago.
[Mii] was amazed to find the putrid product at the back of [his/her] fridge.
[Mii] said, "I can't believe it. The date is exactly five years ago today!"
[Mii]'s the Star
A new side to [Mii 1]'s personality was discovered last night.
[Mii 1] doesn't usually sing karaoke, but last night [he/she] was asked to do the last song.
[He/She] was quoted of saying "I'm a little shy, so I'll just sing this once." and then [he/she] started to sing.
[Mii 2] was sitting nearby and reported on the incident,
"[Mii 1] totally changed when the song started! [He/She] didn't stop singing until well after dawn..."
[He/She] looked rather sleepy during the interview.
We received a special video from one of our viewers today.
[Mii] sent us this message on hope of making some new friends.
So, Let's just take a look...
Hey! My name's [Mii]!
Look! I made this amazing [Food]! why don't you come and try it?
I'm waiting right here! Be my friend! I'm still waiting...
The [Mii's Last Name] Strain
A new kind of bacteria dubbed the [Mii's Last Name] Strain has been cultivated in a lab.
Researchers hope that this [Mii's Last Name] bacteria can be used in future.
They say further research may lead all kinds of important cures.
[Mii] Sets Up Company
Long-time slacker [Mii] got off the couch last month and decided to start a new company.
[His/Her] new company exports mass produced [food]
They ship from [Island] Island to all over the world, But as of this month, They are still in the red.
Even though the company is already almost bankrupt [Mii] stated
"I just wanted to be called the boss for once in my life..."
A special ceremony was held on the [Date] to reveal a new monumental dedicated to [Mii].
It took over 20 years to build the massive monument on [Island] Mountain.
[Mii] is particularly fond of it for obvious reasons.
At the unveiling, [Mii] joked with the audience saying "It looks more like me than I do."
"I Love Me" Contest Held/ Narcissist Contest Held (EU)
Female in the Western versions
Male in the Japanese version
These days, so many people think that they're the most beautiful.
However, the annual "I Love Me" contest judges folks on just how much they adore themselves.
Out of all the entrants, the two brightest egomaniacs were...
[Mii 1] and [Mii 2]. But only one could be the winner.
Champion [Mii 1] barely even blushed as she made her acceptance speech, saying,
"I absolutely adore myself! I have to keep cherishing that I'm me each and every day of my life. Wouldn't you?"
Gorgeous [Mii] Jewelry/ Super [Mii] Jewellery (EU)
A jewelry exhibition was recently held at a fancy shop in [Mii] Town.
Ladies all over the world dream of wearing the [Mii] Jewel.
This remarkably beautiful piece was on display and offered plenty of excitement to visitors.
[Treasure] Day/ 8th Named [Treasure] Day (EU)
It's official! The eighth of each month has become [Treasure] Day.
The Society for [Treasure] made the following statement:
"We hope that this becomes an opportunity for more people to appreciate [Treasure]."
A talking [Treasure] was discovered in a town drainpipe yesterday.
[Mii], who first saw it but walked right past, said, "It made me uncomfortable."
However, [he/she] soon realized it could make [him/her] very rich.
So [he/she] walked back...but the [Treasure] was gone.
[Mii] now really regrets losing that golden opportunity.
Massive Beast Sighted
A giant mutant monster was sighted in [Island] Park today.
Islanders were scared out of their wits when the giant creature appeared.
But they soon fell under the spell of its soft, fluffy cuteness. One witness said, "I fink I wuv it!"
Spooky Mii Mystic
If anything's been on your mind lately, you may want to watch this.
[Mii 1] is turning heads with [his/her] spot-on readings after deciding to become a crystal-ball gazer.
One customer, named [Mii 2], said [he/she] was shocked at how accurate the reading was.
But [he/she] ran away without paying when it all started getting too spooky.
Luckily, [he/she] paid later by putting a check in the mail...just as predicted.
Giant Footprint Discovered
A gargantuan, mysterious footprint was discovered on [Island]'s [Food] Beach.
The footprint is five feet long and six inches deep.
Professor [Mii's Last Name], a longtime researcher of mysterious footprints, had this to say:
"I've never seen anything like it. Now I need to find the owner!"
A new sport called Bug Sumo is starting to catch on in a big way!
In this sport, a player rides a beetle and tries to knock an opposing player out of a tree.
Spectators were glued to a recent match as they held their breath to see who would win.
[Mii], who battled and lost in one match, was crying when [he/she] said,
"I would have won if the beetle's back wasn't so slippery..."
Body Roller Cleaner
Tidiness expert [Mii] has invented a new way to sweep the floor, and it's really cleaning house.
Professor [Mii's Last Name] spent decades of research on various cleaning methods.
But [he/she] finally discovered the best way to clean the floor is to roll around on it with some old clothes on.
This is a story about a reunion that warms the heart...and foot!
[Mii] was finally reunited with a sock that [he/she] parted company with eight years ago.
The sock was discovered by chance under the sofa on the [Date] of this month.
[Mii] was visibly moved by the reunion and said,
"Never take your socks for granted. You never know what might happen. I'll never do it again."
You may have heard the news about [a/an/some] [treasure] being stolen from [Mii].
We'd like to update you on that story.
A hysterical [Mii] called the other day to tell us [his/her] [treasure] was stolen.
[He/She] called back today to let us know [his/her] [Treasure] had been returned along with a note.
The note read, simply, "Thanks for letting me borrow this."
Police are investigating and would like to hear about any and all unusual [treasure] activity.
[Gift] Stretch / [Gift] Stretching (EU)
Everybody thought it was impossible, but somebody has finally stretched the [gift].
[Mii] had been trying to stretch [gift] daily for 10 years without success.
But one day, [he/she] finally stumbled on the correct technique for accomplishing the difficult stretch.
[Mii], more confident than ever, boasted, "I can stretch anything now!"
The charming [Mii] crab is similar to a hermit crab and has been spotted on our shores recently.
[Mii] crabs are seagulls' favorite food, so they usually make themselves scarce at this time of year.
But, due to recent warm weather, [Mii] crabs aren't afraid to come out of their shells.
[Food 1] Maker on Sale!
Everyone loves [Food 1]. And now you can even create them in the comfort of your own home!
It's so easy, you will hardly believe it.
Just put [Food 2] and [Food 3] into the special bucket and hit the switch!
Wait three minutes, and you have [a/an/some] piping-hot [Food 1] in your hands!
The [Food 1] Maker is perfect for quick snacks alone or entertaining a whole party of guests!
Horrific Toe-Stubbing Incident
This news might make sensitive viewers wince.
Late last night, [Mii] stubbed [his/her] pinky toe while running to pick up the phone.
[He/She] caught [his/her] toe on [a/an/some] [gift] and was immobilized for nearly a whole minute.
After the incident, [Mii] asked irritatedly, "Why do we have to have pinky toes anyway?!"
[Mii] T-shirt Boom
Have you noticed that everybody is wearing T-shirts with [Mii]'s face on them?
We decided to ask [Mii] [himself/herself] about how this craze started.
[Mii] seemed a little reluctant to tell the story about the shirts but did reveal a bit of info, saying,
"I made one as a gift for my friend's birthday. Before I knew it, everybody wanted one, so I started making them in bulk."
[Mii 2]'s Kindness
Here's a heartwarming story for you.
Little [Mii 1] was seen crying today.
It seems [his/her] [treasure] got stuck in a tree.
That's when [Mii 2] jumped up and saved the day.
[Mii 2] said simply, "I was just doing my duty."
An outbreak of [Food] has been sighted near [Mii]'s home.
[Food] are native to the region but have never been seen in such quantities before.
Locals were more than surprised at the phenomenon.
Bottomless Pit Uncovered
Amateur explorers accidentally uncovered a hole deeper than any hole.
[Mii] and [his/her] friends stumbled on the giant hole in [Island] Woods today.
They had a close look and estimated it must be bottomless and probably extends to the other side of the planet.
Hopes are high that this hole will make international travel much faster than ever before.
Racing on Leaf Boats
A leaf-boat race was held today.
The race took place on [food] River and followed an extremely scary course.
A number of boats capsized or were dashed on the rocks.
But the lucky race winner was [Mii].
[Mii] commented, "The key to my success was using a double-layered leaf."
"I'm looking forward to winning again next year."
[He/She] seemed overjoyed.
And more than a little overconfident.
[Food] Production Boosted / [Food] Boosted (EU)
The recent [food] shortage could finally be over.
Every year, the demand for [food] rises dramatically in [month].
The lack of [food] in [month] was a serious issue for islanders in the past.
But thankfully, a new factory production method has yielded a fivefold increase in [food] output.
Fossil [Treasure] Found / Petrified [Treasure] Found (EU)
Archaeologists recently made an amazing new fossil find.
A research team excavating at a site on [Island] Shore dug up [a/an/some] [treasure].
The find was made in a layer of earth thought to be about 10,000 years old.
Experts were amazed at how much the design hasn't changed in all that time.
We received a report that [Mii] finally completed [his/her] first errand.
[Mii] had never been on an errand alone.
Busybodies who were opposed to it asked, "Is [he/she] really mature enough?"
But [Mii] convinced everyone by crying and promising [he/she] was ready, so the go-ahead was given.
[He/She] was chased by dogs, and [he/she] forgot to take the change before leaving the shop.
But all in all, [Mii]'s errand was deemed a success.
Banana-Peel Problem/ Banana Skin Pile-up Incident (EU)
This is a story that some people may find hard to believe.
A strange incident occurred yesterday, when multiple victims slipped one after another on the same banana peel.
[Mii 1], an innocent bystander, was in shock and only repeated "Banana, banana..." when questioned.
One victim, [Mii 2], said, "One after another... It was horrible... A little warning would have been nice."
This is a special report on [Mii], the [treasure] collector.
[Mii]'s home is crammed full of [treasure].
[He/She]'s most proud of an item found at a flea market, [a/an/some] [treasure] from medieval times.
[Mii] had this to say:
"In the future, I want to turn my home into a museum for [treasure]."
We wish [him/her] the best of luck with that.
Power [Treasure 1]/ Magic [Treasure 1] (EU)
[Mii] credits [his/her] recent string of amazing successes to what he calls "[Treasure 1] Power."
When questioned, [Mii] had this to say:
"I was dubious at first, but after I bought the Power [Treasure 1], great things started happening!
"I found [a/an/some] [Treasure 2] in the street, and my laryngitis went away in five days! But there's more!
"My acne cleared up by about 10 percent! I have no doubt it's all because of [Treasure 1] Power!"
Legendary Leg Lengthening
[Mii] took a wonder leg-lengthening vitamin.
The next day, [his/her] legs had grown by an astonishing 20 feet.
[Mii] was overjoyed with the results, which passed [his/her] expectations. [He/She] had this to say:
"What's really surprising is that my pants also grew by 20 feet!"
Blue [Treasure] Bonanza
After years of trying and failing, researchers have finally created the elusive blue [Treasure].
The breakthrough was made by lead blue researcher [Mii].
[Mii] started making [Treasure] as a hobby.
So it was basically only a matter of time before [he/she] managed to make [a/an/some] blue [treasure].
The World's Largest [Food 1]/ Biggest Ever [Food 1] (EU)
The world's largest [Food 1] has been discovered.
It is 500 times larger than ordinary [Food 1].
The [Food 1] world has been turned upside down.
The discover, [Mii], said, "Next, I want to find the world's largest [Food 2]."
Record Rock-Paper-Scissors Match
A world record has been broken today.
[Mii 1] and [Mii 2] broke the record for rock-paper-scissors matches.
They were fighting over [a/an/some] [food] when they tied a whopping 203 times.
This just in... They plan to argue again and hope to set an even better record.
Roof-Gardening Craze/ Roof-Gardening Crackpots (EU)
Gardening has always been a popular hobby, but some have taken it to a whole new level.
Apparently gardening in the ground or a window planter isn't enough. People are now potting on their roofs.
They claim the roof is perfect for plants because it gets more sun and veggies grow faster up there.
[Food] Burger Bombs/ [Food] Burger Blow (EU)
Big [Mii]'s is the only burger shop on [Island].
But news about its latest taste sensation wasn't so easy to swallow.
The [Food] Burger went on sale last month.
This [Island] original has an alarming and not-so-secret ingredient: [Food].
Big [Mii] himself had this to say through tearful chews of the questionable burger:
"We know it doesn't taste good, but please try it so at least you have something to talk about!"
Challenge: Bottle-Rocket Ride/ Challenge: RIding a Fireworks Rocket (EU)
[Mii] decided to take on the latest Island Challenge event.
The challenge this time was to get into outer space on a bottle rocket.
Despite the concerns of onlookers, [Mii] took up the challenge.
[Mii] got off to a hot start but didn't quite make it into orbit due to technical difficulties.
Actually, the rocket fizzled out before takeoff, and the challenge ended in failure.
This is extremely dangerous, so please don't try this at home.
New Toothpaste Taste
[Mii's Last Name] Healthcare has added [food] to its lineup of toothpaste flavors.
The company president loves [food] so much, the new flavor was a natural choice.
It's said that [he/she] forced [his/her] staff to put tons of the flavoring in each tube.
There's never been anything like it, and it is getting rave reviews.
In fact, it tastes so good that you might want to eat it. But please don't!
Tour de [Island]
The high-speed [Island]-circling cycling race was held today.
[Mii 1] and [Mii 2] were neck and neck right from the start.
But with just two miles until the finish line, [Mii 2]'s tummy started gurgling and [he/she] almost had to stop.
However, it spurred [him/her] on to cross the finish line in first place so that he could find the nearest restroom.
Hurricane Hits Hard
A powerful hurricane has landed on [Island].
Our faithful weather correspondent [Mii] went to see how the situation is on the street.
[Mii], how is it out there?
Hello! This is [Mii] reporting live!
I'm standing on [Island] Street and the hurricane is heading right this way...
I don't get paid enough for this! I could get blown away any minute! I'm outta here!
Beached Whale Set Free
Early this morning, [Mii 1] discovered a beached whale on the shore.
[Mii 1] called [his/her] neighbors to rescue the whale, and they succeeded in returning it to the sea.
One rescuer named [Mii 2] said, "I was moved by [Mii 1]'s kindness, and that's why I helped."
[He/She] seemed relieved, but it was later discovered that the whale was in fact just a plastic toy.
That didn't make the rescuers too happy.
Gigantic Swing Set Swings Into Action/ Giant Swing Swung (EU)
An enormous swing set was unveiled at the peak of Mount [Mii 1's First Name] in [Mii 1's First Name] park today.
The ropes for this oversize swing are 40 feet long, and the contraption can send a rider through the air at 60 miles per hour.
[Mii 2], who got off the swing looking shaken and unsteady said, "I really thought I was a goner."
Robo-[Mii 1] Revealed
Robot creator Prof. [Mii 2's Last Name] has unveiled a new invention:
Robo-[Mii 1] made its first media appearance today.
Robo-[Mii 1] is a close replica of [Mii 1].
Robo-[Mii 2] can move its head, arms and legs.... But not both legs at the same time
Prof. [Mii 2's Last Name] said in [his/her] press conference,
"I have to keep working on it until I can reveal Robo-[Mii 1] Mark II."
Mt. [Island] Climb
Mt [Island] is the highest peak on [Island].
[Mii] climbed the southwest route without oxygen and successfully finish the ascent.
Others have tried to climb Mt. [Island] before,
But none have challenged the south face without assistance,
[Mii]'s solo ascent sent shockwaves through the mountain climbing community.
Pressed Flower Incident
A trip to the local library didn't exactly go by the book for some islanders.
[Mii 1] and [Mii 2] went missing but were soon found safe and sound.
The bookworms said they fell asleep while hitting the books and got stuck with some pressed flowers.
Unfortunately, they too became pressed.
Pressed Miis are the perfect size and thickness for making good bookmarks, Now, that's one for the books!
[Food] Ice Age!
What would you do when you need something on cool down on a hot day?
The word on the street that there's a new chilly refreshment in town.
If's perfect when you are hot and hungry.
Everyone from juniors to seniors love chilling out with it.
[Mii], who eats it every day, had this to say:
"Frozen [food]! It's like an avalanche in my mouth!"
A rock shaped like [a/an/some] [food] is the new hangout spot for young people.
The [food] rock sits off the [Island] Island coast and looks like [a/an/some] [food].
It is one of the most famous locations on [Island].
Professor [Mii's Last Name], an expert on [food]-shaped rocks, had this to say:
"People go there to chill out, I guess."
Astronaut [Mii] recently sent down photos from the space station.
[Mii] blasted off in a rocket ship and arrived at the space station yesterday.
[He/She] captured the moment on camera and titled the photo, "Being weightless is a blast!"
[Mii] has been cooking space [food] sammies.
And [he/she]'s testing how loss of gravity affects [treasure].
[Island] held its annual [food] Fireworks Festival.
Twenty thousand rockets launched into the night sky this year, which is a big increase over last year.
When the centerpiece [Food] Firework went off, the crowd oohed and aahed.
It was truly a sight to behold.
Flat as a Pancake/ Flatter Than a Pancake (EU)
We have a terrible piece of news to report today.
This morning, [Mii] fell asleep on top of the laundry.
That's no big deal in itself, but [he/she] awoke to find that [he/she] had been ironed!
As you might expect, [he/she] was as flat as a pancake.
But with a bit of hot water and a three-minute wait, [he/she] was back to normal, albeit a little steamed.
Olympian Sky Diver
On the [date] of this month, self-proclaimed Olympian deity [Mii] fell from the sky.
[Mii] said, "I wasn't watching where I was going, and I fell through a crack in the clouds."
[He/She] added, "But since I'm down here, I suppose I should stay and check you mortals out."
Incidentally, [Mii] escaped injury by landing in a net firefighters had put out for a kitten.
Legendary Fish Causes a Splash
A fish that was considered just a legend has finally been found swimming around [Island].
The [Mii 1's Last Name] Research Team fished it up after much hard work and paddling around.
The fish has the scientific name [Mii 2's Last Name] aghasti.
It's so named because it has a constant surprised look on its face.
[Mr./Ms.] [Mii 1's Last Name], who discovered the fish, had this to say:
"It looks so surprised all the time, but not quite as surprised as I must have looked when I found it."
Film Festival Winner Announced
[Island] Film Festival has announced its choice for this year's best short film.
The winner was chosen from more 2,500 entries.
[Mii 1]'s animated film [Treasure 1] and [Treasure 2] won.
[Mii 1] spent a year shooting at home to create this rather unique love story.
One of the judges, a director named [Mii 2], said the movie "signals the start of a new era in film."
Extreme Eco-Car Revealed
Have you been waiting for a car that's so environmentally friendly it doesn't use any fuel at all? Well, here you go!
A large-scale test drive of the wonder car was held for the media and public today.
[Mii], who got to test one of the cars, seemed extremely excited about it and had this to say:
"This should finally solve all of the world's pollution and fuel problems!"
Hot Barbecue Fusion
Everybody likes barbecuing food their own way.
But [Mii] has come up with something new that will really get your grills going.
[Mii] has found a combination of ingredients that makes for perfect shish kebabs. It includes
[Food 1], [Food 2], and [Food 3].
It might seem like an odd combination, but, as [Mii] says, "Don't hate it till you taste it!"
Bear Scare/ Bear Scare Reported (EU)
[Mii] reportedly had a close scrape with two bears today,
[Mii] spoke as if [he/she]'d escaped by the skin of [his/her] (or the bears') teeth, but
we suspect the bears were just park statues.
Police will talk to [Mii] to find out the bear facts of the case.
Cat Convention Held Today
The monthly Cat Convention is being held today.
Cats always gather at the sandpit in [Island] Park late at night on the [Date] of the month.
House cats, strays and even tomcats are all welcome to join in the furry event.
What's more, the first 200 visitors also get a free bag of catnip.
Seasonal Veggie Festival/ Seasonal Veggie Promo (EU)
A special vegetable promotion (festival) was (held) at [Island] supermarket (just called market in NA Region) today.
[Mii's Last Name (or first name if in NA Region)] and [his/her] farming friends dressed up (as their favorite veggies) and lined up (or lined [which also excludes in], if in NA) in the veggie isle (or aisle in NA).
They wanted to highlight the fresh veg they grew themselves with their specially made hats.
(In NA, the last part reads as: They wore specially made hats to celebrate the fresh veggies they grew all by themselves. Looks tasty!
[Food] Marathon Held
The third annual [Food] Marathon was held today.
The [Food] Marathon follows a route that goes around [Island].
First-place finisher [Mii 1] received a year's supply of [Food].
Runner-up [Mii 2] had this to say:
"I was upset that they had [Food] at the drink stations instead of bottled water."
[Mii] Gone for Winter
[Mii] has taken to sleeping through winter in an attempt to save some money.
And we have been told that [he/she] has already gone into hibernation again this year.
"I found the perfect hole and didn't want to waste it," [Mii] said before tucking in for the long nap.
[He/She] plans to wake up next spring at the very earliest and said [he/she] might just sleep well into summer.
So if you need something from [Mii] before then, you'll just have to wait.
Chased by a Giant
We have received some earthshaking news.
A startling event occurred today when [Mii 1] and friends were nearly run over by a giant.
[Mii 2] had this to say after having narrowly escaped being flattened like a pancake:
"The giant just hurdled right over us and kept on running..."
Spooky Halloween Party
Halloween Parties were held over [Island].
Islanders wore pumpkin masks and danced until morning. Spooky!
[Mii's Last Name]'s Masterpiece
Master Painter [Mii's Last Name]'s Exhibition opened at the [Island] Modern Art Museum.
[Mii's Last Name] is known as one of the greatest painters of our time.
The Latest masterpiece is a wonderfully crafted self-portrait with friends.
Art buffs queued for hours from early morning just to see the piece titled [Mii's Last Name]'s world.
[Mii] Bird Causes a flap
An unusual bird has been spotted flying about the island recently,
It may seem ordinary from a distance. but the [Mii] Bird actually has a face like [Mii]
It is also known as The Lone [Mii] Bird because it never flies with other birds.
Since it is a very rare animal, please contact the wildlife conservation centre if you spot one.
Hot-Air Balloon event held
[Island] island held its annual hot-air balloon event today.
A whole flotilla of balloons went up into the blue skies.
One participant, [Mii] was on top of the world when [he/she] said,
"It was like a dream to fly up into the air like that. the wind felt so great."
Space Experiment Disaster
The ambitious experiment to be the first person to eat [a/an/some] [Food] in outer space...
unfortunately ended in complete failure yesterday.
Experts have analyzed the cause of the disaster, and it was determined that, before takeoff...
Astronaut [Mii] had eaten the [Food] that was supposed to be used in the experiment.
[He/She] said [he/she] had been too busy with takeoff preparations to buy lunch and [he/she] simply got hungry.
Fishing Tournament Held
[Island] Lake is a popular spot for fishing enthusiasts.
So it's hardly surprising that a fishing tournament was held there.
However, [Mii] won the competition using a strange lure to catch a 22-inch fish.
[Mii] had this to say: "My [Food]-shaped lure was the key to victory."
"I think these fish must like the taste of [Food] too."
Well, you can't argue with success!
All-Time Record Low/ All Time Low (EU)
The thermometer couldn't get any lower this morning as cold weather gripped [Island].
Pavements, streams, buildings, and even the air froze, creating a silvery island of ice.
Even though it is very pretty, please don't walk around outside unless you want to be a shiny ice statue.
Figure-Skating Skills on Display/ Figure-Skating Drills On Now (EU)
[Mii], the darling of the figure-skating world, had [his/her] first public practice session this season.
[Mii] took to the ice in [his/her] regular outfit and spun nonstop for six hours.
After practice, [Mii] looked a bit dizzy but said [he/she] felt ready for competition.
Mii Nearly Pickled
We have some shocking news!
[Mii] got [himself/herself] into a real jam when [he/she] slipped and fell into a pickle jar.
[He/She] was trapped in the container with carrots and gherkins.
Fortunately, [Mii] was taken out unhurt with the gherkins after about half a day.
We have received reports that the carrots are still in the jar.
Authorities say [Mii] will probably smell of pickles for a month.
Stop the Static!/ Static Stop! (EU)
The air is so dry right now that many people worry about getting a bad shock!
[Mii] has a reputation for giving off static shocks all the time.
Just brushing up against him can release a burst of miniature lightning.
[Mii] said, "The only way I can stop zapping people is to stay at home or stop wearing clothes..."
This reporter prefers the first option.
Holiday Tree Lit
A holiday tree has been set up in [Island]'s Plaza.
The tree's light and decorations have really put everybody in a festive mood.
This year, the tree was decorated using ornaments with [Mii]'s face on them.
Visitors who came to see the tree seemed spellbound by its beauty.
The [Mii] flower, which blooms only once every 100 years, opened its petals today.
The [Mii] flower is unique because it has a face that looks just like [Mii].
People who came to see the flower looked absolutely charmed by it.
[Mii] discovered [a/an/some] [Treasure] today.
He was picking up rubbish along the river when he made the find.
The [Treasure] seemed to be in good condition, but there were no marks to identify the owner.
Police will hold the [Treasure] for safekeeping.
If no one comes forward, [Mii] will be given the [Treasure].
[Mii] had only this to say: "I'm keeping my fingers crossed."
[Mii] has grown a giant-sized radish.
The radish, which had grown hundred times the normal size, it was impossible to [Mii] to pull alone.
[He/She] gathered 10 islanders to pull it out together.
[Mii] said, "I think we'll have to make a lot of salad out of this for everybody".
Shaped Chocolates on Sale / Chocolate Stuff on Sale (EU)
[Mii 1's Last Name]'s Candy debuted a new line of chocolate shapes today.
The chocolates range in shape from [Treasure 1] to [Treasure 2]!
And if you don't like the look, at least you can't argue with the taste.
New Ski Resort Opens
A new ski resort recently opened on Mount [Mii 1].
Local skier [Mii 2] had this to say:
"The quality of the snow is just fantastic. I could stand here and look at it all day!"
New Gymnastics Feat
We here at Mii News are betting you haven't seen this one before.
A gymnastic unit called Team [Mii] has made history on [Island Name] Island.
They succeeded in completing a new maneuver called the [Mii] Sky Tower.
Team leader [Mii] said, "I was scared of being up so high, but at least I wasn't at the bottom.
Subway Sardine Commuters
This spring the trains have been even more crowded than ever before.
Every rush hour, passengers are packed into the trains like sardines.
[Island] Central Station has reported a 500 percent increase in passengers this season.
Commuter [Mii] said, "I'm squished everyday on the train.
"My body usually returns to its normal size by the time I reach the office...but sometimes it doesn't."